**** SPOILERS AHEAD! ****
I went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness this afternoon and to say I was disappointed is an understatment. Insulted would be more accurate or to quote what I posted on Facebook:
So Star Trek: Into Darkness. An idiotic over the top summer blockbuster which lacks any intelligent consistency as it rushes from one ludicrous action scene to the next. Not worthy of bearing the name Star Trek.
What follows below the cut is going to contain SPOILERS, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Once again, here there be SPOILERS (in case you somehow got here without seeing what was above the cut)
Rather than go through the entire movie and pull it apart I want to focus on a few particular scenes and why they were left me pissed off.
1. The opening scene. With the Enterprise hiding underwater… from a primitive race of aliens.
A STARship hiding UNDERWATER. Rather than in SPACE, where the aliens would be unable to see them. And lets not even mention that a vehicle designed for space isn’t likely to work under the pressure of an ocean.
2. Khan’s (yeah I’m not going to bother hiding that he’s the bad guy) escape from Earth after he attacks the assembled captains… actually lets start with the attack.
So Kahn convinces a guy to blow up a secret Starfleet black-ops facility then attacks the meeting between the Starfleet Captains who have come together to decide how to respond. This is basically a high level security meeting in response to a terrorist attack involving the central command structure of the Federation military (because lets face it, that’s really what Starfleet based on their track record of getting into fights). Said meeting IS HELD IN A HIGH RISE TOWER WITH GLASS WINDOWS! Who in their right mind thinks that is a secure location to gather all your high ranking officers?
So let’s get back to Kahn’s escape, where he beams from Earth directly to Kronos, the Klingon homeworld. If you can beam from one world to another using a piece of technology a single person can carry THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL FLYING STARSHIPS? Given the plot is supposedly about an admiral who wants war with the Klingons why is he worried when he could beam bombs directly onto Klingon planets? Hey presto, problem solved. Or to quote a friend quoting from one of his games
I know, why don’t we beam them into space?
Then to top it off Kirk and co fly off to Kronos, get there without encountering ANY Klingons and end up surprised when Klingons do show up, on their OWN HOMEWORLD.
3. Dr Marcus stripping.
Seriously what the fuck was this in there for? We’d already established that Kirk found her attractive. Having her strip to her underwear served no purpose other than to let men oggle her. I mean they didn’t even attempt to have the scene forward the plot in any way, two seconds later it cuts to her and McCoy on the planet, in their suits on a planet
4. Spock and Spock
So Spock, wanting to know what he’s dealing with phones old spock to ask him if he ever encountered Kahn and how to beat him. Fair enough. But during this time they’re sat crippled in orbit of the earth and apparently unable to contact anybody there for help. But he can ring a planet in another FRIKKIN SYSTEM?!?! Then instead of contacting the New Vulan portion of Starfleet asks his alternate self what happened in a timeline which he knows is DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT.
I could go on, I really could but honestly just writing this has left me even more pissed off with the movie than I was when I came out of it. And the thing that pisses me off the most? That virtually nobody else seems to care that Star Trek has been turned into a cheap SFX filled action blockbuster which insults intelligence.
I’m going to end on that, Star Trek insulting intelligence.